Compulsions

Usually I write about the goings-on of my life. The recent past goes something like this: work,a close friend had surgery, work, some idiot stole from my parents (on my mom's birthday!), work. I just have had this on my mind for a while and decided to put it out there.
Sometimes, usually when I am on or just prior to my period, at night I have trouble falling asleep. I will lay awake and my brain goes off on these tangents of "what-ifs". Crazy scenarios at work and in life, tragedies and terrible things. I generally put on my i-pod to get my mind stopped and it works well. Sometimes however after a little bit, after I am sort of settled and getting ready to sleep, I get a strong compulsion to do something. I don't mean, just get up and do something, a specific something. Sometimes to see where my phone is, or to make sure the cats are not closed in, or general things like that. Sometimes it is strange, like to find the fine tip sharpie marker set, or find my writing portfolio from college. And in that case it was not good enough to know where it was, to go and get it, to have it next to the bed to see in the morning. I needed to read through and find a particular poem. Right then. I tried to go to sleep, to just turn off and go to sleep. Finally I gave in and went out to the other room and read it all. Then I came back to bed and went right to sleep.*head shake* I don't know. The other thing is that all that stuff I wrote in college, it's really good. Not perfect, but really good. Now when I think about writing I just feel like I have no ideas, no creative spur anymore. I think, I would like to write again, maybe get published someday. And my mind is like a blank screen, nothing there. I wonder sometimes if the structure of a class and the..."looseness" of my mind back then is what made that good writing. I wonder sometimes if it was really "me" at all. So, I don't know. I know that I am in control and I am the chooser. I also know that this doesn't happen all the time, in the day time or every night. I just wonder about it and the things I sometimes find. I do believe that our minds can steer us, without us really knowing, to what we need to do or where we need to be. The subconcious mind is very powerful. I guess maybe I just am still working on getting the message straight, or maybe overthinking.

Week in Review

A lot has gone on this past week...no time to "esplane" so let me sum-up. Last week was bluesy and culminated in what we call at work a "death-day". It is exactly what it sounds like. Needless to say not the best for getting one out of a funk. The weekend was much better, Don and I spent Saturday playing tourists in our own town and walked around the historic downtown and generally had a relaxed day. We also found a great new product called the SlimCat, henceforth to be referred to as the kibbleball, for Rye. Basically it is a ball with adjustable holes in it so the cat has to work for the food. The idea being that the cat will expend calories getting them and thus not have as much weight gain....sort of like a real wild cat would do....hunt to eat. Anyway, Rye loves it and I think it will be great for him. Then Sunday we did errands and house stuff and then it was Monday and back to work. This week has been somewhat better, less blue, which is good. I did take the kitties in for annual exams and vaccines this week and they did well. Today was just weird, with every appointment showing up late (to varying degrees)...but ended with me showing my skills. A sick kitty came in last appointment of the day and as I was rooming them, the kitty peed in it's crate. I assured the owner we would get everything cleaned up, got the kitty out and said "I'm going to take a sample of this urine, just in case the Dr needs to look at it." Because it was ORANGE. I didn't want to freak the owner out so I just was very cool. Then I told the Dr...."I think this cat has liver issues." Sure enough, once I did the urine dip stick and looked at the sediment....crazy bilirubin and bilirubin crystals(they look like little bundles of red threads)!!...not only that but high glucose and protein too. Most likely it has some liver disease and possibly diabetes too. Not so good for the kitty, but I felt good about my ability to asses and think diagnostically. After work tonight we headed over to a friends new office to have a surprise dinner with him. It was cool. Now we are home, Don is gearing up for the Pilots game on TV, and I am thinking about bed. I have work tomorrow. Poo.

Midweek Blues

It's midweek and I am in a slump. I just feel like I can't get going at work and then when I come home sorting out what to do for supper makes me feel like crying. *head shake* What a mess. We had a great holiday weekend, visited with old friends, watched some great soccer, went bargain hunting, and ate at laughing planet. So all in all a good time. By monday night I was in a funk. I've had a bit of a sore throat and think that might be part of the issue, all that work to fight some bug or another off can really wear one down. On the good side, save the date cards went out and were just perfect! I love them and am getting excited (and overwhelmed at times) by the up coming date. Work continues to go wellish, so I just don't quite know what the funk is about...Pause...sorry, I had to go be "the mean lady" in the neighborhood again. Some little kid was riding his bike in our side yard "looking for his friends, who were hiding from him." Aaarggh. It is not that I don't like kids....I do. I just don't like it when children are just turned loose on the world with few guidelines and no adult supervision. Anyway, Don is off visiting a friend who just opened his own buisness and I should really figure out something for supper. Things can only get better.