Mr. Practical

Earlier in the month Don and I were talking about our friends who are pregnant and I was talking about how excited I was for it to be our turn. He immediately starting talking about all the things that "needed to get taken care of" before having a baby. I pretty much shut down right away and felt like the prospect of having a baby had just become a frighteningly distant dream. This week, after having taken some time to really think about what he had said and how I was feeling and what I could and could not do about his concerns, we took a walk and started to talk about it again. I started out letting him know that I had truly heard what he had said, and that I agreed and understood his concerns...but that waiting until everything is "perfect" pretty much ensures that it will not happen. There is never a "perfect time" and always something that "needs taken care of". We had a good converstaion, very calm, and we both were able to say what we needed to say. We agreed on some mutually agreeable actions to assuage both of our concerns and talked more about time frame. It is sort of strange sometimes to talk about time frame for making a baby and getting us both on the same page. It seems like somehow it is just something that is supposed to happen and it seems that people often don't really think about it. But I really feel like having a baby is something that we both should be equally "ready" for. I guess I just feel like getting pregnant is such a wonderfully big deal that is shouldn't be "sprung" on anyone...not even your spouse. Not that it won't still be somewhat of a surprise when it happens...just that it will be a pleasant, expected one rather than one that brings trepidation or bad feelings. This has all been a testament to how much we have grown in our communication too. I was able to stop before going non-linear and then take time to process and respond calmly to his concerns (instead of staying shut down), while he was able to hear me and understand mine and dialog about it (instead of walling up). I am always amazed at how different our thought processes are. It is so good for me to have his perspective...even thought sometimes I initially get galled. He does have good ideas and really is much more practical than I am...it is a good thing. It was wonderful to be able to talk about it and come to an agreement that is comfortable and good for both of us. I feel so strange calling our plan to get pregnant an "agreement" but since we are a two person team and neither one of us can do it without the other, that is what it is. So we will spend some time saving and working on finances and with nature's help and a little luck (maybe) be pregnant this year! I love my husband Don very much and am so excited at the prospect of starting this next stage of our lives together!!